My name, of course, is Mark Anthony Gamberony; back home in New Jersey, I have a sister,Cleopatra Gamberony, a girl who gives new meaning to the term Italian- American Princess. For Cleo, a difficult birth means the private duty nurse leaves at 8:00 PM and only does lighthousekeeping. Whereas Eskimo women grunt, drop the kid on the tundra, cut the cord with a walrus tusk, and while nursing, kill a seal, Cleo took every painkiller known to the modern world, suffered from Breast Milk Backwash, and was in bed with “the Vapors” for like 3 months.
She did however make sure that her placenta was bronzed and now resides on the kitchen table as a centerpiece or rather odd cornucopia. Cleo is married to Leo; if you put Leo's brain inside a frog, you d have a fairly bright frog; not the brightest in the pond, but top 5. Leo would lose at tic tac toe if you gave him the first 4 moves.
Cleo likes money, a lot, so much that she took a job cleaning houses; a noble profession except for the fact that her house looks like itwas hit by a meteor shower. One of her kids was missing for an entire day before he was discovered in her laundry room, hidden in the mass and maze of clothes that stand there like snow drifts in Buffalo, New York. Her first cleaning job, she was overcome by Window Cleaner, called 911, and set off a production that included police, helicopters, guys inradiation suits, and FEMA.
Pets fare poorly in Cleo's home; average estimated survival rate, 48 hours. When she shows up at the pet shop, all the animals scurry to the back of their cages, well aware that the Grim Reaper has arrived. She got her kids lizards, these lizards eat crickets, not great for the crickets, but what the hey we all gotta eat; They Eat Crickets, that doesn t mean when you run out you substitute with June bugs, moths,or caterpillars, doesn t work that way. The lizards became the newest casualty statistic.
I got Leo a job as a bouncer at one of our clubs, how hard can that be? You only gotta know how to say 2 things, “Let s see some proof” and “:hey guys in the band, what it isdudes”, not exactly Mensa material working the doors. Leo screwed it up, he let in underage people, he checks their driver’s license, he does the math, he looks into space; man I didn’t t know it was Calculus, didn’t t think we needed Pythagoras to figure out if some chick is 21 or not. He wanted to buy a truck, he goes over the financing, he can t afford a truck; he started to cry.
He started to cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I told him, hey genius, you don t cry over some truck. You cry if your gumba gets whacked coming out of a clam bar, you cry if the unions call in their retirement fund markers, you cry if the capo summons you for a meeting on his turf where you’ll be safe!!!!!!!!!!! Open the floodgates.
Cleo doesn t know where I am, if she did, she d sic the hit men on me faster than you can say, ‘love ya sissy................YEAH RIGHT
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