COMEDY ON FIST, FUNDAMENTALIST ISLAMIC TELEVISION NETWORK
Greetings All, the SCARF here, I intercepted another transmission from FIST, the fundamentalist Islamic television network.............
Along with Bigfoot, Loch Ness, and other things you ll think you ll never see (Rosie O'Donnell in a swimsuit layout, Paris Hilton portraying Madame Curie or knowing who Madam Curie was or even spelling Curie), one must include Islamic radicals holding hands, singing "We Are The World", unless of course, they conquer it.........However they have used the melody from "We Are The World"
to sing their new hit song, "WE ARE WAHABBI".
"we are the world
we are wahabbi
don t make us have to put you to the sword
though that s our hobby
it s a choice
you're making
you re saving your own life
just follow all our rules
and your blood won t pool,
we are the world
we are wahabbi
my name is abdul-ali-al-rakim
don t call me bobby,
(bob dylan voice)
there s a choice
you re making
the oil it flows so freeeeeeeeee,
it s easy as 1-2-3-
with the wahabbi
(regular voice)
now you gotta believe
just like the sky is blue
if you re an infidel you re
going to go toooo
hell------------ hell------------ hell--------hell
you are the great satan
no virgins await
you
the only thing you ll sleep with
will emit a moo
we are the world
we are wahabbe
perhaps we ll change some of our point of view
and be less snobby
maybe we can find
a happy medium
and then one day
together we will all have some fun
and then one day together
we will all have some fun
this has been a hama
hama
hama
hamas
fa-----tah production
Osama Bin Laden set up a meeting with Elliot Spitzer's hooker, Ashley Dupree
also known as Kristin. He sung a song to their sexual encounter.
here she comes
and I m looking like some
Saudi stumble bum
when she gets here on the mountain
I ll go off just like a fountain
kristen' s coming upthe mountain, here she comes
she ll be more fun than a camel
that is true
and she won t back into my nuts
till they turn blue
she s a hooker
screws 4 money
but tonight she ll be my honey
she is coming up the mountain
here she comes
since I ve been someone's
sex slave
fornication ain t romantic
in a cave
its been yrs lemme tell ya
since I seen my genitalia
need a lawn mower to give
I will pay her dollars and opium
for her delights
she s a virgin 10 times removed
her Western Blight
I will fill her with my
semen
try to drown her Satan
demon
then I ll throw her off the mountain
when I come
jiha------------------d
geeee-whizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz---gee whiz
MR. AKBAR'S NEIGHBORHOOD
I got this transmission by mistake from FIST,
Fundamentalist Islamic Television.
A camera starts rolling, the sound is on, and a robed man enters the frame.
HE SINGS
"it s a dusty day in the neighbor hood
the ventilation in this cave in not so good
won t you be my,
i won t harm you,
neighborrrrrrrrrrrr
Hello friends, welcome to MR.AKBAR'S NEIGHBORHOOD.
we have a special show today,
so make sure TO pay attention.
today,
i will use animated figures and toys to
show you the proper etiquette for driving enemies away from your wells
with a certain style, while my obediant wife, as part of her "meals on the move project"
will whip up her specialty jello with sheep eyes have you tasted this? Hmmmmmmm. delish An eye opening dessert
(SINGS)
"watch it staring,
it is glaring,
looks right through you,
don t be afraid, it s only
a ewe
Where's my wife? Missy, Bring me the mullah, no , no, not the old guy with the beard, the greenbacks, the mullah, the cash, wait, hold that thought, let's connect our new Playstation. I got a generator friends, allow me a few technology comforts ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Next time I will explain how to turn a bad thing into a good thing;
if indeed I am a eunach, I will use my high voice
to form a band, like from the 1960's, retro I think they call it,
I will be AKBAR AKJAN ANDTHE 4 HORSEMAN OF THE APOCOLYPSE.
Kinda like Frankie Valli....."Big girls, they cryyyyy, oi they cry, big girls, they cry, I'll tell u why
saw my girl kiss my best friend,
now we'll stone them end to end
when them rocks begin to fly
big girls and boys do cry
big girls they cryyyyy
projectiles flying low and high
big girls they cry
do you wonder why?"
GOODBYE FROM MR AKBAR'S NEIGHBORHOOD, SEE YA!!!!!
I was able to get the Transcript of the Unanimous WINNER, of the ISLAMIC FUNDAMENTALIST IDOL WINNER. AKBAR, by name, won for his rendition of "KABUL, KABUL" song to the tune of "NEW YORK, NEW YORK". The votes came in by phone, audience approval, falcon, and mule cart. Here is his song
"I COME U.S.A.
I DRIVE THE TAXI
BACK HOME THE FAMILY POPPY BUSINESS
BECKONED TO ME,
PEOPLE IN MY MOUNTAIN LAND
LOVE OPIATES AND CASH,
SO MUCH THEY LL HIDE TWO KILOS
RIGHT UP THEIR ASSSSSSSSSSS
NOW I CAN WAKE UP IN A CITY
THAT S ALWAYS HIGH
AND WATCH THE FOREIGN AIRCRAFT
SOAR THRU THE SKY
TH-EEEEE-SSSSSSSSS-EEEE
TALIBAN BL-------------------UES
ARE NOT HERE TO STAY,
YOU ALL CAN MAKE A BRAND NEW START OF IT
IN OLD KABUL
ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND
IF U CAN SHIP FROM HERE
YOU GONNA SHIP IT, EVERYWHE-----------RE
MY FAMILY'S BUT A FEW
BUT REALLY REALLY DUE
KAB--------------------UL
KAB------ULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
(sniffs coke off knuckle) (EXCLAIMS) "72 virgins here i come" (pushes button palm)
BLOWS UP.............EXPLODES.....................
He is the unanimous winner amidst great clapping, cheering, and tongue clucking,
as his nose (still with the connection across it) and turban fall to EARTH
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